Many of us are familiar with the prophecy that foretold the coming of a boy who would have the power to vanquish Lord Voldemort. But are you familiar with the self-fulfilling prophecy? Britannica defines it as the process through which an originally false expectation leads to its own confirmation.
I'd been telling myself for years that I hated broccoli. But what if I changed my mindset? What if I tried affirming my like for broccoli? What would happen? What do you think happened?
If you guessed that I started liking broccoli, you would be correct. By simply changing my mindset and saying out loud, "I love broccoli," I found myself actually enjoying it and looking forward to it at mealtimes. Crazy, right?
Not really. It's just psychology. Often used in dialectical behavioral therapy (or DBT), radical acceptance, or "turning the mind," involves changing how you feel about something or learning to accept it.
Now, before you attack me for applying a technique often used to address big traumatic experiences in life, I'll say that this practice can be applied to the little things in life as well. And, though I am not in any way, shape, or form a psychology professional, I spent the better of 5 years with a licensed therapist practicing DBT, radical acceptance, and mindfulness to overcome the effects of big traumas. So, I am simply sharing my experiences.
The key to radical acceptance is just that: accepting things as they are without judgment. Many who practice radical acceptance use the mantra, "it is what it is." It can help to repeat this mantra when you find yourself judging a particular situation.
For you, it may not be affirming your like of broccoli or green veggies, but perhaps it is something that happens that causes you anger for hours after like a coworker who gets under your skin or the bottom of the trash breaks while you're taking it to the can in the garage. When hiccups like these happen, stop what you're doing, take a breath, and remind yourself, "it is what it is." Don't judge yourself or the emotions you feel, just simply acknowledge them and move on.
This practice might not fix all of your problems, but I hope it can help you minimize the daily suffering so many of us face.
—Jen
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